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When you have 3 or more children people begin asking the question. The question that makes us feel like circus freaks. The question that makes otherwise patient, sweet mothers want to swing their purse at perfect strangers, and not miss. Have you heard it yet?
You know the question. “How do you do it?”
Here’s the break down of what this question means.
How = Why
do = on earth do
you = you
do = have
it = so many children
? = for cryin’ out loud, don’t you know what causes that? Enough is enough, already!
Well, you know me. I’m gonna have fun, so I usually answer this rhetorical question. Sometimes I say, “With one hand tied behind my back and drunk.” Other times it’s, “Do what?” or even, “I don’t know, will you help me?” Oh, not really, but wouldn’t that be fun, just once.
Anyway, there are some tricks of the trade that make life with several children a little bit easier.
I am forgetful. I think I always have been, I can’t remember. I can’t keep my Pirates on track if I forget they are supposed to be doin’ stuff. So, I use timers. Dollar Tree sells digital kitchen timers. I have several. I use a Sharpie to write the Pirates names on the timers or I will forget who I am timing, honest. The timers have a clip on the back so I can wear it or I can clip an index card to it with a note about why I’m timing that Pirate. (yup, that forgetful)
The other time keeper I use is my cell phone. Every cell phone I’ve ever had (ok, both) has had an alarm function, and a schedule function. I use ‘em. I use ‘em for bedtimes and when to begin cooking dinner, and doctor appointment reminders. If I have a Pirate in need of medication on a schedule I set the phone to remember it.
Recently we had a virus run through the family. I had the phone set to remind me when to give tylenol and ibuprophen and something else, I forget now. Oh yeah, echinacea and vitamin C.
I even have the schedule set to remind me to turn the ringer off for church. And, of course, my phone rings every morning at 6:20 to wake me up so I don’t forget to live my life sleep late.
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This is great! Great breakdown of the question Mother Hen! What a relief to know I’m not alone in wishing for a more interesting reply. Especially for the, “Better you than me, honey” one. WHY do they say that in front of the kids??? Though getting comments now that we have five is WAY better than the ones back when we had two and everyone wanted to know if we were “done” yet. They’ve stopped trying to help us see sense, and mostly just watch now.
Love the timer and sharpie idea. My mom used timers but we never knew which was for which thing. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Lois! =)
Hahaha, your poor son cleaning the bathrooms longer than he should have…and your daughter not mentioning anything about it. =D ROFL!
Keeley, (I LOVE your name, BTW)
Calendar is a good idea. My son once cleaned the bathrooms for a full week longer than the punishment, because I forgot to tell him he was done. Funny – his sister never mentioned that she should be taking back over the chore!
MotherHen,
Some of my 7 are adopted, and two are Hispanic, and you should hear the stuff I think, but never say, in response to the questions of strangers. My favorite often thought, never used, response: The question: “Where did that one come from?”
The answer: “Our UPS man is Hispanic.”
I can’t say it out loud, since in this world the person would probably believe me, and I am completely faithful to my terrific husband of 25 years, but oh, how I am tempted….just once…
Hi MamaArcher, Yes, thanks. I think there were 3 pairs of slacks that fit The Squid, the rest will bless another family of Pirates at church.
Now, about the snarky remarks,of course I never would SAY those things out loud, but I do think them sometimes.
That was so funny! One hand tied behind back and drunk…. Now can I actually see you saying that in person??? hmmmm.. There are times when I would love to comment that way. Often times you can tell if someone is indeed really interested in knowing or if they are someone trying to say one thing to you while saying another. I am still not brave enough to make one of those many comment I think of though.
You crack me up!
Oh BTW..did any of those clothes work out for one of your pirates???
Well Keeley, sometimes I forget that what is funny (in a tongue-in-cheek way)to some, may in fact be hurtful to others. And I do understand that some folks really do want to know how it’s done. Maybe I should have outlined the “Better you than me, honey!” remark, instead of the “How do you do it?” question. Like you said, text can be vague. I kept wanting a way to show the inflection of the question, which can be very telling.
Oh no! Don’t feel like a heel! I wasn’t upset by your post at all (it was actually funny in a “bitter homeschooler’s list” way. =D), I just wanted to offer an explanation of why some people ask. I’m just hoping my post didn’t hurt or offend you in any way?
I should have used more smileys. Smileys help. =Þ You see, that’s the problem with text. If you’d seen my face while I was typing it wouldn’t have been a problem. =) =)
Lois Groat, I have an AWFUL time with remembering punishments for children. Like “You’re grounded” but then I forget and the next day they say “Can I go to AB’s house and do XYZ?” and I say “Sure” about five hours before I remember “Hey! Hold on! You’re grounded!” =D
So I do things like write it on the calendar (this ensures I also don’t punish them longer than I said I would =D), put sticky notes on the TV and/or computer, make sure the punishment is something they have to do NOW and isn’t long term, and stuff like that.
For example, I may have my son clean his sister’s bathroom as a punishment rather than grounding them, because they have to hop to it right away and I don’t have to remember anything. Furthermore, there’s an idea of service tucked in there. =)
Just lately my children have been reminding me if they’re grounded. They’ll ask “Can I go to whatsit’s house?….oh wait, no, I can’t, I’m grounded.” They do this because, smart children that they are, they know they’ll get mondo brownie points for being honest and responsible and that will make me less likely to ground them in the future. =D Not sure how long this stage will last, but I’m enjoying it while it’s here. =D
Hi Lois,
Have you been peekin’ at my laundry? Actually, it’s goin’ well, I haven’t found a down side to the bachelor style yet.
As to remembering punishments, we don’t have much variety there. I do write it on the calendar if somebody is grounded from something, but that might be an area that the phone schedule would work for as well.
So, tell me – what method do you use to remember who is getting what punishment for what and until when? I am forever forgetting the consequences I give and my pirates and princesses are gleefully getting away with mischief. Right now I tape notes up on my cupboards. Helpful, but messy looking.
BTW – How is your laundry looking? Is everything turning a uniform shade of taupe? My 4 pirates don’t care if white turns grey, bright yellow turns mustard, bright red turns russet, bright orange turns rust, bright green turns olive, lavender turns puce, etc – but my three princesses REALLY, REALLY do! So I keep 4 baskets in my laundry cupboard labeled whites, darks, jeans, and brights. When a basket is full, I wash it. (2 or 3 loads a day) The kids are required to do their own sheets and towels (on their scheduled day.)
Oh Keeley, I feel like a real heel now. I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I realize that a few of the people who ask “the question” are sincere and really would like to know “how it’s done.” This was a crudely worded attempt to actually tell a little bit of the “how”, but I surely didn’t mean to step on the toes of those of you who really want to know. Please accept my apology.
Being one of those people who have asked that question a couple of times, I’d like to tell you what I’m really saying when I ask “How do you do it?”
How = You are awesome, I am in awe
do = What amazing, beautiful children.
you = I’d like to hang around you because you seem to have had this ability to take this gift from God and develop it beautifully. I want to see if there’s anything I can learn, so I can apply it in my life to develop the gifts God blessed me with.
do = I’d be interested to know the practical applications as well as the spiritual applications: ie using timers and index cards. It gives me hope when I learn some of the things you’re doing because I do similar thing myself and it lets me know I’m doing ok.
it = I wonder what your schedule is like?
? = *Tiny envious sigh that I need to repent for because what I’m really doing is wanting more children…but the Lord is in charge and has sent the amount of children to our family that He has wanted in our family so to sigh for more is not good and I need to get over it so STOP with the tiny envious sigh already and simply be happy for and appreciate the family of whose mother you’ve just asked the question.*
The couple of times I’ve asked this question, there’s certainly been no offense meant..just support, admiration, and a desire for a sharing of information.
You are brilliant. And thanks especially for the tip on where to get the timers. I’ve wanted to get one for us, but didn’t want to fork over that much money. Now I can get more than one, and I’m so writing names on them. Great idea, thanks!
We’re a timer family too! I have 2 Pampered Chef digital timers, and we utilize the kitchen timers on the microwave & stove. DH depends on his cell phone timer as well.
Labeling timers, genius! Thanks for the tip.
Abby
And you have an alarm set to remind you to charge the thing? I can NEVER remember to charge my phone!
Now Mother Hen… this is just genius. I swear I want to get to know you in real life. Have I mentioned that I have (soon to be 6) wonderful maidens to match with your pirates?
“I use a Sharpie to write the Pirates names on the timers or I will forget who I am timing, honest. The timers have a clip on the back so I can wear it or I can clip an index card to it with a note about why I’m timing that Pirate. (yup, that forgetful)”
Names on the timers, and writing WHY you are timing them. WOW are you brilliant. Have a great day!