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A friend of mine who only has small children was pickin’ my brain the other day askin’ me about our routine and the kid’s responsibilities and that kind of stuff. I told her about the wonderful fact that I don’t clean my own kitchen, and the glorious fact that I don’t do my own floors and a few other really cool things about having well taught, older kids. She started to get the big picture. She asked me, “So, Jenny, what do YOU do?”
She was just funnin’ but it’s true. I don’t do NEARLY the same amount of work I used to when the Pirates were little powder monkeys. Halleluiah!!!
AND I don’t feel guilty about it. Why? I started out with a plan. A plan to teach my children to do the things that need done in a home. Most of these particular children happen to be males. So what? They are going to live in a home when they leave this one. And they need to know how to do what needs done.
And when you have a house full of kids there is no reason you should do all of the work. Especially if you homeschool and the kids are around all day long. As a matter of fact, if you are the mom of teenaged sons and you carry garbage out or groceries in, EVER, you have not done your duty for your sons.
Here is my philosophy. If they are able to do a job, they should do it. Yes, sometimes usually my house looks like it was cleaned by a bunch of wild Pirates. That’s because it was. Hey, at least it got done. :D
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My babies see each job as a priveledge because they are still little (Erin is STARTING to clue in sometimes though!). This morning Billy was the first kid out of bed and he thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world to help me clean the bathroom. Yesterday when I asked what his favourite part of the day was he said it was emptying the scrap buckets for me – he was jumping out of his skin to tell Beloved how helpful he’d been when Beloved got home! If kids see the work they do as productive, their self esteem rockets.
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I agree that they should learn to pitch in. My oldest three are boys and the oldest is eight. Even my two and four year old daughters love to help fold laundry. I do need to get them all doing more chores and I definitely have to get past the “perfection” idea I hold in my mind. I also find it useful to inspect the work after it is finished. It holds them accountable to do their best. This is a step I often neglect, but shouldn’t.
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Hi LH, I am so glad you are going to give your children some chores. Everyone needs to know the wonderful feeling of accomplishment that comes with a job well done. I don’t know what ages your kiddos are, but start small, and don’t expect miracles, just progress.
Mmmm…Yes, I see I still have a lot to learn about of this…lol!!
Thanks for your feedback ( I think I’ll go find some tasks for my children to do;)
You go, girl. Fabulous! =)
Right! I am the managing foreman. If left to themselves for very long, all productivity would eventually cease. They are kids! And really, many adults aren’t productive without supervision.
Oh, and in response to what you do… Tell her you do have something to do – Supervise! LOL
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Amen!
We grew up doing all of the household chores. I especially took over the majority of the work when my Mother returned to college when I was about 13 years old (as I was the oldest child). I cooked, cleaned, did laundry and did the outside chores on the farm. I was resentful then, but now realize my Mother did me a great favor by teaching me how to take responsibility for our family.
Thank you for this post! This is something we struggle with with “outsiders” or family. This post was very encouraging to me and what I needed to read.
Amen!
I totally agree, my children all have assigned chores. We don’t have a mechanical dish washer – why? I have a 16 yo, a 12 yo and a 7yo. There is no reason for a dishwasher, when I have three.
I started doing chores at age four. It made me capable and taught me basic life lessons, as well as how to take care of a home and myself.
Children learn a good work ethic when they have daily responsibilities. So many mothers neglect in teaching their children the value of hard work, which is why so many businesses are always looking for hard workers.
No one wants to clean, no one wants to do whatever the chore, however having your children ‘work’ at home teaches them to ‘work’ in the world.
Dear LH,not at all. I am not worried one bit. Children will feel that any work is a burden, until they learn that all of life is work. But I am not going to cater to their feelings. That said, they do their work willingly. It’s just a natural part of daily life.
My job is to train and teach and prepare my children, not neglect them while they waste their youth playing video games.
Mother Hen,
I have heard a lot of larger families speak a/b having to do less housework as their children grow up b/c the children take it over. But, are you concerned about the children feeling “burdened” or “stressed out”, or resentful that they have had to do so much work around the house as children?
Let me say, I only have two little ones, and my mother made me do absolutely nothing in terms of housework, when I was growing up(obviously that has set me back years in terms of my career as a homemaker:) So, b/c of my experiences I could have be missing some very important piece of the puzzle. However, I do wonder what their attitude toward their responsibilities are.