Not really.

It’s a meme.  Michelle, at Heart of the Prairie either gave me permission, or complimented my blog by default, you choose.  Anyway, she left it open to be taken.  “Stole” is an exaggeration, so, you decide.  I’m either an unrepentant thief.  Not really.  My opinion.  Or I’m a huge liar, or at least an exaggerator.  This is likely, but I trust you know that my tongue is, firmly,in my cheek.

The rules of this meme are as follows:

Grab the nearest book.

Open the book to page 56.

Find the fifth sentence.

Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal/blog along with these instructions.

Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

Tag five other people to do the same.

But first, a moment of silence for me.  A blue funk has settled over my whole demeanor at having not gotten to actually create these rules.

Alright-y.  Enough of that.  Smiles and sunshine are back in place.  All pity parties should be brief, got that girls?  Pirates do not indulge at all!  That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Now, all silliness aside, you may wonder what sort of book is here closest to me.  Doctor Suess?  Calvin and Hobbes?  Runny Babbit?

Wrong.  I’ve got a real book sitting here.

Hubby handed it to me a couple of evenings ago.   The nice folks at Vision Forum have asked me to read it and give y’all a review of it.  But, of course, I haven’t touched it.  Once I start a delay, I get a pretty good head of steam goin’. Oooops!

This is why I got excited when I saw Michelle’s meme.  I thought it would be the perfect kick in the duff opportunity for me to give you a little glimpse of things to come.

The title is To Have and To Hold: A Tale of Providence and Perseverance in Colonial Jamestown and was written by Mary Johnston and is available from Vision Forum.

To the stake was fastened an Indian warrior, captured, so my interpreter informed me, from some hostile tribe above the falls.  His arms and ankles were secured to the stake by means of thongs passed through incisions in the flesh; his body was stuck over with countless pine splinters, each burning like a small torch; and on his shaven crown was tied a thin plate of copper heaped with red-hot coals.  A little to one side appeared another stake and another circle of brushwood; the one with nothing tied to it as yet, and the other still unlit.  Suddenly, four Indians grabbed me by the arms and dragged me towards the other pile of brush!

Confession time.

I had no idea this was gonna be exciting.  I was really putting off getting started on it.  Forget that, I’m reading it this afternoon!

OK.  Whom shall I tag?  Who do I know that reads great books?

• Carri, of “all the time in the world” fame.  She blogs at Home of the Petersonclan.
• KimC, of course.  I know she has a good book nearby.  She blogs at Life in a Shoe.
• Jenn, at Sunshine on my Shoulders, because I wanna get to know her better.
• Mandy, because she’s a Texan.  She blogs at MandyMom.com.
• Faith, my long time friend in real life.  She reluctantly blogs at Godsfaith.  Y’all go poke around over there and offer her some encouragement.

Oh, how fun!  My bff, KimC at Life in a Shoe, has tagged me for another 6 Things meme.  We’ve done it before, but she seems to think we are stranger now than we were then, bizarre is her word.  She was really quite ruthless, you should go read her.

I jest, of course, about the ruthlessness; not the reading her blog part, that you should do.

Anyway, here are the rules.  Bwahahaha, I love rules!

The rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag sixish people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know he or she has been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six Weird Things About Me

1. I have kept barnyard fowl in my suburban backyard.  Two separate species, on two separate occasions, at two different houses.  Actually, I’m thinking about getting a duck again.  Wonder what Trixie-the-Wonder-Dog would think of that.  The Princess would love it and hug it and call it George.
   
2. I can sing the alphabet backwards, and I can sing the alphabet in German, just not backwards in German.  Maybe I should work on that.
   
3. I have seen Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on stage, in Spanish, in Monterrey, Mexico.  And dined with the dwarfs after the show.  My father was KING of the weird family vacation.  Chevy Chase got nuthin’ on him.
4. I caught a live jack-rabbit with my bare hands when I was 4 years old.  Yes, really.  And The Princess did the same thing when she was 4 years old.  Weird, huh?
   
5. I had a quarter-horse when I was a teen, even though I lived in the city.  Blackie lived at a stable not far from my house, I was allowed to visit him every day.
6. I love to watch boxing and bull riding.  Shocking, I know.  As a matter of fact, the day the Cap’n was born, Evander Holyfield had a heavy-weight, championship bout, and at his weigh-in he weighed the exact same thing as I did that day.  Some things a girl just doesn’t forget.
   

There ya go.  Do ya still love me and think I’m The Greatest?  (That’s a boxing pun.  Remember Ali?)

I’m gonna copy from Kim’s post and tag some of my Pirates.

1. The Cap’n
2. Calico Zak
3. Billy Bones

And some friends and e-friends.

1. Stephanie at The Greenhouse, because she has so much free time to blog these days.
2. Mama Hen at Clucks from the Hen House, ‘cus, ya know, birds of a feather…
3. Faith at Godsfaith’s Weblog, ‘cuz she should post.  After all, that’s what a blog is for.

Linked to We are that Family Carnival and Bloggiversary.

Shannon, at Rocks in My Dryer, has a meme that is very appropriate for today!  And she has asked all of us to play along!

How long were your labors?

1. 5 hrs
2. 4 hrs
3. 6 hrs
4. 1 hr
5. 3 hrs
6. 3 hrs

How did you know you were in labor?

1. I didn’t know.  I had a regular check up.  They convinced me I should get my hubby to come to the hospital.  He got there only to find out that the proceedings weren’t, um, well, proceeding.  We were told to walk, walk and walk some more.  I think we walked around the outside of that hospital 4 times before they told us to go home.  Of course, once we got home it was clear we needed to go right back.  It was raining to beat the band and my Very Dear Hubby had to drive painfully (this is not a pun) slow.  I nearly gave birth in the car.
2. God tapped me on the shoulder and told me something was not right.  That’s my best explanation.  I just picked up the phone and called my Very Dear Hubby at work and told him something was wrong and I needed to go.  So, he took me.  I was only 4 days from my due date.  They did an ultrasound and found that Calico Zak was in trouble.  He had gotten all tangled up in the rigging and was having some heartbeat issues when I would contract.  So, they waved a vial of pit over me gave me a tiny dose of pitocin and we were under way.
3. We had an unfortunately timed trip to the ophthamologist during which I was kicked in the 8 mo belly by Calico Zak.  I have forgiven him, after all, he was only 2 yo.  But the next day I went in to labor a tiny bit prematurely.  No horrid pains or water breaking, but enough pain for concern at 36 wks.
4. I had an ultrasound at 37 wks because I was measuring WAY LARGE.  The ultrasound estimated baby’s weight at 11 lbs.  HELP!  So, I was offered the choice of a c-section or induction, but either way, they convinced me that he needed out, soon.  By the way, it’s not hard to convince a woman of this once she has seen the weight estimate of 11 lbs!
5. We used to refer to The Squid, during the last 3 wks of pregnancy, as the mean baby.  I’m sorry if that sounds unkind, but he was hurting me.  Turns out he was transverse.  This hurts!  So, again that ole ultrasound machine showed us that not only was he transverse, but he had fouled the riggin and I was already dilating, maybe 4½ or 5.  Long story here.  My Very Dear Hubby was upstairs with Billy Bones who was having an intrathecal injection of some kind of chemo.  He was in the beginning stage of his treatment for Leukemia.  So, it was all a little complicated that day.  And it was Valentine’s day, to boot.  The upshot was, I was admitted, Billy Bones was released.  All the children spent the night at our friends house who also happened to be a Urologist and was thereby competent to care for such a sick child.  Did I mention it was complicated?  By the time Hubby returned to the hospital the OB ward was so busy with other ladies who were in active labor, including the obligatory Valentine’s Day twins, that I had been put on the back burner, but not before they had performed medieval torture on me turned my baby to a more traditional presentation.  At least I was more comfortable (once the torture was over).  So, The Squid did not get to be born on Valentine’s Day and I didn’t really ever go into labor until they broke out the pitocin.
6. Again, no going into labor, per se.  I went into high blood pressure.  Short story, they don’t fool around when the bp goes through the roof.  Fortunately I had a history of short labors once someone says the word pitocin, so I was allowed to decline their offer of an automatic c-section.

Where did you deliver?

1. old fashioned delivery room
2. door-way of old fashioned delivery room
3. labor/delivery room
4. labor/delivery room
5. labor/delivery room
6. lovely, plush, labor/delivery suite

Drugs?

1. No time.  The Cap’n got in a hurry before we got back to the hospital and he was born a mere 15 minutes after we arrived.  Did I mention he was born on his due date?  He’s the ship-shape type though.
2. Just the pit.
3. I was given an epidural.  The only effect it had was to make me itch head to toe, almost enough to distract me from the awful, horrible, pitocin contractions.  Yes, they’re worse than the regular ones!
4. Just the pit.
5. Just the pit.
6. Another try with the epidural.  This time it killed all the pain and almost killed The Princess and me as well!  I have to say, it’s not worth it.

C-section?

Thankfully, no.

Who delivered?

I guess I don’t fully comprehend what is being asked here.  I delivered all these babies.   There were a few OB docs involved, but I get the credit, and God gets the glory!

Thanks, Shannon, for starting all the fun!  I’m gonna be bold and add another part to this fun, Labor Day meme.

Baby’s Weight?

1. 9 lbs, 4 oz
2. 8 lbs, 6 oz
3. 7 lbs, 2 oz
4. 10 lbs, 9 oz
5. 7 lbs, 11 oz
6. 8 lbs, 3 oz

My Random Secrets Plot to take over the Plans

Mama Hen over at Clucks From The Henhouse has tagged me for a meme and I feel muy importante.  I’m thinkin’ that by the time I finish writing the 6 revelations, I may feel otherwise.  When you’re done reading mine, remember to cluck over to Clicks From The Henhouse (wait . . .huh?. . .???) and read Mama Hen’s 6 things.

Rules of Engagement:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I am breaking Rule # 3, and changing the words random things to plans for the upcoming weeks.   And remember, read all the way to the very end where I will tag some of y’all to play along.

Six plans for the upcoming weeks that you may not know, (and maybe you already know some, but not all of them) by Mother Hen:

1. I will commence to making all of our bathsoap and shampoo, starting this week (or next).  I’ve been doing some reading on just what shampoo is made of, ew.  I know what soap is made of, I used to make our soap, 382 years ago.  And most of us aboard this ship have a little eczema, so we need NO CHEMICALS in our skin care and hair care stuff.
   
2. We will be building a Solar Oven starting this weekend.  I bought this book about 12 years ago and it’s time has finally come!  The rising cost of energy blah blah blah, I can’t wait to cook for free!
   
3. I plan to make baskets for Christmas gifts this year (out of newspaper).  Again, this is something I have done before, so I know I’ll enjoy the results.   And hopefully I’ll have enough hot-pads crocheted by then, to load the baskets with.
4. I will have the whole house completely devoid of clutter by Christmas.  Watch out fellas, the garage is next!
   
5. I’m giving up coffee as soon as the current canister is empty, Hubby is on board too! Who needs it!  I love my herbal tea.  Just don’t expect me to be very nice too much from me next week while I have the de-tox headache.
6. No more TV!  Starting yesterday!  Man alive, are these children bored!  Actually, the boredom was yesterday.  I mean, they were entertained by watching me grind wheat for cryin’ out loud.   Today they have remembered how to be creative.  The Princess woke up with a bit of a sore throat, so Cannonball Jack, thoughtful to the core, made her this.

And if you give a Princess a bouquet, she’s gonna need a gown.

And if a Princess is wearing a gown and holding a bouquet, she’s gonna need a Prince.  Cannonball Jack!

While I type this, there is a ceremony happening in the next room.  Billy Bones is providing the music and The Squid is the presiding preacher-boy.  Not sure on the progress of the sore throat.  No-one has said anything about that for a while.  It may have been a ploy to get me to turn on the TV for a sick child.  No dice, chickadee!

Well, that wasn’t too hard.  Now it’s your turn!

So, here we go:

• Happy Momma at Pink Explosion
• Mel at The Living and Learning Chronicles
• Faith at Blessed Quietness
• Karen at Engstrom Family Cerebrations
• Stephanie at The Greenhouse
• Carri at Home of the Petersonclan

You’ve been tagged!

All the rest of my friends and efriends are also invited to play along.  Leave me a comment and let me know how to find you, a link would be nice, too.

If you’re new here, you should subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss anything.

This morning I had a look around my dinning room table and thought to myself, “We are weird!”  The stuff is not terribly weird, just weird that it’s on my table and not put away where it belongs.  But some of it is truly weird.  Then I started noticing the numbers of weird things on my table and a song started playing in my head.  But only the last half of the song.  We’re not that weird!

And then after realizing that the weirdness was somewhat of a picture of our lives this week, I realized what I’ve done.  I have created my very first meme.  Now, I have participated in a few memes, but never before has it occurred to me to create one, and maybe never will again.  So, here you are.  The debut of my “Six Weird Things on my Table” meme.

Six loaves of freshly baked whole wheat bread.  I know you only see five loaves, I took the pics after lunch.

Five sets of socket wrenches.  The fellas tell me they will get this sorted out and put away … ummm, soon.

Four bottles of medicine.  Most of us have caught a cold, ugh, in the summer.

Three black swallowtail caterpillars in a jar.  Science on the hoof.

Two jars of herbal salve, to put on the mosquito bites received while wrangling caterpillars.

One teeny-tiny globe that really belongs in the dollhouse.

So, my meme, my rules. (use yer scary granny voice and say) he he he he he !

• Any table will do.
• Any number, descending order or not.
• The things don’t even have to be weird, maybe unique, or maybe just out of place.
• Pictures please.
• No obvious set ups, unless it’s hilarious.
• Tag some folks and link back here.

That’s easy enough, ‘eh?

Now, I will tag Keeley and Nancy.  I hope y’all are ready, with piles of weird stuff all over the house.

The rest of y’all are welcome to join in, I just didn’t want to put everybody on the spot.  But if you do, please leave a comment so we can come read all about it.

I do like lists.  So when I saw this one over at Joyful Days, I decided to do it.  I feel a little self-centered about it, but telling you ahead of time relieves a little of the guilt about it.  I haven’t given much thought to the answers either.  I thought it would be more fun that way, and maybe more candid.  I mean, if it’s a whole post about ME, then it really ought to be the REAL me, huh?

Accent: I bet most of y’all have guessed this one.  Way TexanTwang and probably slower than y’all talk, too.

Breakfast: My green smoothie.  Spinach, banana, strawberries, peaches, honey.

Chores I don’t like: Ones where I hafta lean way over, like the floor behind the potty.  I have vertigo and arthritis, leaning over is like a bad nightmare.

Dog or Cat: No contest, DOG.  I used to love cats, until we didn’t have one for a while.    I guess I had thought that everybody’s house smelled that way.

Essential Electronics: Computer, cell phone.  I haven’t really gotten the hang of the camera yet, but it’s next on the list.

Favorite Cologne: My fake favorite is White Diamonds.  My true, but secret (until now) favorite is Pachouli Oil.  But, I don’t buy cologne.  I wear whatever my Very Dear Hubby buys for me.  He buys what his nose likes, and I’m wearing it for him.

Gold or Silver: I’m not much of a jewelry wearer, my wedding ring is silver.

Handbag I carry most often: I would rather still carry a diaper bag, because then I don’t have to choose a purse.  I buy whatever works from the thrift store.  Large and Durable are key traits I look for.  I’m quite the practical gal in most respects.

Insomnia: Only between 4 and 6 am, usually accompanied by night sweats.

Job title: I love filling in this blank on forms with words like Queen of all Mothers, or The Happy Homemaker,  or Mother Hen.

Kids: I prefer to call mine children.  Kids are baby goats.

Living arrangements: 3br, 2 bath, 2 car lots of stuff garage.

Most admirable trait: I’m a very diverse gal, probably due to the fact that I love to learn new things.  Even hard things.  Once I decide I’m gonna learn a thing, I do it, it may take a while, but I learn it, I’m very tenacious that way.  So, we have here two traits, one admirable, the other questionable.  Maybe they’re both questionable, it all depends how I spin it live them out.

Naughtiest childhood behavior: When I was 7 I threw a coffee can lid (remember, they used to be metal) frisbee-style to my sister, who did not catch it (would you?) but it hit her in the ankle and made her bleed.  I’m sure I did worse stuff, this is what came to mind.

Overnight hospital stays: I gave birth to all of my babies in the hospital and stayed one or two nights with each of them.  Aside from that, I stayed overnight when I broke my arm when I was 6, it wasn’t a bad break, but they had to sedate me to set it.  Other than that, I think the only other overnight stay was when I had my gall bladder removed, and I suspect the only reason for the overnightness of that was due to the fact that it was emergency surgery because of a stone in the duct.

NOW you know way more than you ever wanted to about me, and we still have eleven to go!

Phobias:  Well, there’s the water-bug thing.  Yikes!  You can read a little about that if you click here.  And I also can’t deal with what I call “flying freeway interchange ramps”  but this is probably due to my vertigo.  Either way, I usually break-out in a drenching sweat if I have to drive a high one.  I’m working on dealing with them as a passenger, but only if my Very Dear Hubby is the driver.  I will not be a passenger on one of those if a teenager is driving, we will just go the long way and avoid it.  Other than those weird bits, I’m as normal as you.  Yikes!

Quote: I’d much rather be a woman than a man.  Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they’re the first to be rescued off sinking ships.
Gilda Radner

Reason to smile: God is at the helm.  What a relief.

Siblings:  One of each, sadly neither is a Christian.

Time I wake up: Officially 6:20, really ’bout 7.

Unusual talent or skill: How long have you got?  I have many of these.   I revealed some of them in a post you can read if you click here.  I will now think a minute for an interesting one that you don’t already know about.  Just a minute.  Oh, I got it.  I can stick my thumb and forefinger in my mouth and whistle louder than anyone I know.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Okra.

Worst habit: I change my mind far too frequently.

X-Rays: Left arm, broken, twice.  Right wrist, broken.  Lungs, pneumonia, twice.  Teeth, tons of times.  I know that some of you think I should add my left knee to the list, but it’s getting better, slowly.

Yummy stuff: Just because I’m trying to lose weight, I won’t mention sweets here.  I love pasta salad w/crab, I’ll even use imitation crab.  Not exactly health food, but it’s not a frapuccino.

Zoo animal I like most: I must be jaded, we have gone to the zoo a zillion times, so we have seen it all.  A lot.  The thing I got excited about recently was the butterfly house.  They have ALL kinds.  It’s one thing to see a Blue Morpho in a book, but to see it in real life was quite a treat.  I could have stayed in there all day, except for the space heaters, ugh.

There ya go, way more than you ever wanted to know about me.  Now it’s your turn!

My funny hilarious friend Michelle at Heart of the Prairie left an open invitation to participate in this fun little meme, and since I’m just sittin’ here anyway, I thought I would give you this little glimpse into my world.

Two names I go by:

1.  Mother (duh, this is easy, huh?)

2.  Jen – I really like this shortening of my given name, I find it to be an endearment.

Two things I’m wearing right now:

1.  my glasses – the better to see you with, my dear.

2.  flip-flops – it’s hot here.

Two of my favorite things today:

1.  slept a little late – thanks Hubby.

2.  $100 check in the mail from AT&T – some kind of rebate or reward I had forgotten about.

Two things I want at the moment:

1.  a cuppa tea – oh Pirate! come wait on yer crippled Mother!

2.  to see my Very Dear Hubby’s face – it’s almost that time of day!

Two favorite pets I have had:

1.  Rex – my childhood Dalmation.

2.  Rebel – my Golden Retriever with itchy feet.

Two people I hope will fill this out:

1.  KimC – my BFF at Life in a Shoe (but if you’re busy havin’ yer baby I’ll give you a pass.

2.  my e-friend FaithA at Blessed Quietness.

Two things I did last night:

1.  watched Unbeatable Banzuke with the whole crew – weirdly addicting

2.  went to bed early and slept like a baby – finally, after 2 nights of not sleeping well because of my knee.

Two things I ate last night:

1.  delicious crock pot pork ribs and brown rice.

2.  Toll House bar cookies that Calico Zak made.

Two people I last talked to:

1.  the 7 yo girl across the street who thought I would like to know about the dead ‘possum they found in their back yard.

2.  do chats count?

Two things I will do tomorrow:

1.  laundry – ’nuff said.

2.  water the “lawn”

Farthest trips I have taken in the last 5 years:

1.  out to Kim’s house – it’s really far

2.  to a reptile show just outside of town – we don’t really go far, far away.

Two favorite holidays:

1.  Resurrection Sunday

2.  Christmas

Two favorite beverages:

1.  coffee – this is easy!

2.  Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer Tea – hot.

So there you have it.  I’ll offer the same deal that Michelle did, if you want to do this on your blog, just give me a link so I can go read it!

Do I Appear Quirky To You?

You may want to reserve judgment until you read this.

KimC at Life In a Shoe has tagged me for the 6 Quirky Things meme.  This is my first meme, I thought it would be hard to come up with 6 things, ha!  The hard thing turned out to be LIMITING it to 6!

I’m going to tag 6 of my virtual friends, I can’t wait to find out all the quirkiness out there!

Karen at Engstrom Family Celebrations

happy momma at Pink Explosion

Jonatha at Homeward Hearts

Cyndi at Modern Christian Homestead

Momma Bug at Momma Bug’s Blog

Faith at Blessed Quietness

OK, here are the rules.

* Link the person who tagged you.
* Mention the rules in your blog.
* Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours.
* Tag a new set of six following bloggers by linking them.

All right, here you go.

1. I play (and sing-along to) the Ukulele, I love singing old campfire songs like “On Top of Old Smokey”, and I sing with mirth and glee, but the real fun is getting the Pirates and the Princess to sing along.
   
2. I didn’t know how to cook when I got married. He did all of the cooking!  But, he’s a good teacher and I’m a quick learner.  Funny how teaching me how to cook seems to have caused him to forget where all of the pots and pans are kept.
   
3. Actually adore absolutely awesome alliteration, always.  Absurdly abysmal alliterative acumen.
   
4. I played drums in jr. high-school band, because I’m a fidgety, fidgety person.  This is how I can be patient with certain fidgety, fidgety Pirates who shall remain anonymous for their own dignity.
   
5. I cut all of my families hair, including my own.  I do a great job on theirs.  Mine is so curly and I wear it long, you’d never be able to tell if I did a bad job of it.
   
6. I know how to fly REAL airplanes,  I know how to clean a rifle,  I know how to drive a Harley, and I know how to captain a sailboat.  All these things I’ve done, but not in 25 years and more.
   

Now it’s your turn!  Tell all your quirks (well, 6 of ‘em anyway) in a comment.